Cause I cant turn to you, when it all falls apart;

Sunday, August 29, 2010

its like, people i bade farewell to always end up happier than they are before.

so, anyone out there,

if you want more than what you are exp. nao,

just tell me you hate me and avoid me like a stinging lobster,

whoosh, you're on your way to the hidden fairycastle. YOU'RE WELCOME

blackandwhite! at 12:59 AM

grrrrrr

if that stupid chew pesters me once more about hot chics, im seriously gonna tell him to eff off IN HIS FACE.

seriously,

guys are so superficial ttm.

its like after he's given up on sinyee,

he's becoming so pretentious. like, everything depends on the surface and blah blah.

and i feel like a loser.

i never ever win.

blackandwhite! at 12:56 AM

Saturday, August 28, 2010

wtf.

my bro just came home and he told me that on the train

there was a bunch of indian hooligans.

and then a chinese nerdy girl boarded

then one of them rushed forward and slammed her face into the door

and then all of them acted blur.

like, what the fuck what the fuck.

and when this uncle stared at them they started pointing fingers at him and those around them too.

wtf.

we neeed more law enforcers!

blackandwhite! at 12:18 AM

Friday, August 27, 2010

such a strong urge to pick up the phone and text Imy but im not gonna do that.

cause i know i wouldnt get that back.

and i hope you didnt start talking to me because you read my post.

i really really hope you didnt read my blog.

otherwise, it only means that our interaction depends solely on my initial posts and not because you have thought it through or whatsoever.

blackandwhite! at 12:38 PM

its raining like it would neh stop.

oh well, reynard sent a mass message to everyone

- the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer in the end - thomas merton.

mayb thats what happened to me, i thought i would get dehydrated after tennis ytd so i bought bubble tea before playing and after playing, i got a BAD tummy upset.

so applicable.

anw,

supposed to meet wl and rayney to study but its raining non stop and i cant find an umbrella.

will meet mum at taka after that, thinks she wanna get iphone4.

i hope there will be good shopping :/

haven started working i FEEL REALLY REALLY INSECURE.

somehow, there's this egging, in me.

like, i need to spend time with a certain somebody but im not sure who.

oh wells,

blackandwhite! at 12:00 PM

SO SCREWED, i just typed a whole junk out and the window closed unexpectedly.

nehmind,

i'll just talk about today then.

met wl and rayney to eat bak ku teh for lunch.

IT WAS YUMMY, the pig trotters.

i never knew it tasted that good.

rarr, bak ku teh was salty, but they said its pepperish oh wells.

then we met bryan at cck and took a shuttle bus to warren cc. play tennis from 2-4 then we went to meet long at dhoby ghaut to eat justacia.

wow, the guys accompanied me to the airport to send joshua off.

yeah, chew wnated to see jessie , lol.

but he didnt really do anything to carry out his words.

on the way back,

we discussed about the bangkok trip!

hee, i really hope we get to embark on it.

anw, waiting for addy's call now.

i wanna work realll soon!

blackandwhite! at 12:00 AM

Monday, August 23, 2010

sigh, still no call. im screwed, im so friggin screwed.

i need to learn how to cycle, then i can go cycling and burn some fats :/

blackandwhite! at 10:31 PM

im waiting for the tcc guy to call me, but i think chances are really slim.

its almost 10 and they are supposed to end work at 6

hmm, i need to start working!

my expenditure exceeded for this month's budget alrdy. i feel so insecure.

but anyway, i caught step up 3d today!

its as good as inception!

i really like the visual effects and just how mindblowing the choreo is.

its so fairytale-ish.

chew's asking me advice about sinyee and him again.

im such a love guru. heh, or maybe not.

he said she texted him first this morning.

and if that was a good sign.

and if he should still keep hope and all.

well, yadayada, i told him that if he's not suffering while waiting, why not,

but he should keep his options free too.

blackandwhite! at 9:48 PM

Sunday, August 22, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDY.

Ily very much and no matter what happens in the future,

you and asshole will always be my bestfriends.

i hope you will wear that hot devilish red bra that i bought for you and meet us yeah.

hahah, with sth on of course.

grr, mummy's eating sugar coated peanuts and i wanna eat it too.

went down to centrepoint to meet ass to get stuffs from the partyshop.

it was like going down memory lane

i dont know.

i have so many mixed feelings and emotions.

its driving me prissy.

you said friendship wise, i can live without you but you cant live without me.

but i think you are doing just fine without me, and maybe having a great time too.

instead, as hard as i try to deceive myself that i'll be able to let you walk out of my life just like that,

i miss you dearly everyday and im sure you dont.

maybe you are full of hatred for me now, and i dont blame you for it.

im not gonna tell you all this, and i dont think you will read this, until, idk, sometime later.

i dont wanna approach you anymore because, i know that somehow i will get hurt and the misunderstanding between us will get deeper.

i know this will be a regrettable period for me , but its not like i have never been through this before.

i know time will fill that empty space for me once more

for now,

i just gotta carry on fasting.

I dont want to miss you, but i cant help it.

blackandwhite! at 9:02 PM

Saturday, August 21, 2010

one thing i find admirable about chew is how he can carry on holding a torch for his sinyee, its been like , gosh, i just found out, when he was sec 1, day 1 of school -.-

okay,

thats still sth worth mentioning.

i mean like,

ppl give up along the way and all, but even though she has a bf now and she knows that he likes her but she's not doing anything about it.

he's still clinging onto that single hope, of getting tgt with her.

hmm.

at least that idiot has sth good about him.

anw, im reading cathy glass 's "I Miss Mummy"

and there's this section which she explains to the kid what love is:

"Love isn't something you have to do. It's something that comes from your heart; that you feel deep inside. When you love someone that person becomes very special to you, so that you want to be with them lots. And when you are with someone you love you feel all warm and cosy inside"

I think that's pretty apt.

i guess

Alright, in the afternoon lunched with mum and bought dark chocolate hair dye.

i redyed my hair and it looks better than the stupid red shit the lady did for me.

no, it was orangey to be exact :/

then went down to clarke quay for the mooncake schedule which i was told would last til 6 probably but it only took 2o mins, that inclued waiting time and filling up the time slots -.-

rushed down to kallang and catch the guys final singles.

A GOOD FIGHT PUT UP BY BOTH PLAYERS,

sadly the indian player, yuki bhambri retired in the middle, due to cramps or sth.

managed to take a polariod with number 1 seeded, marton fucoscic or sth. yeahh

blackandwhite! at 10:36 PM

hi there, at 1.05 am, i have decided to fast myself from you

blackandwhite! at 1:05 AM

Friday, August 20, 2010

oh my goodness, i just typed one whole lot of things and my internet dissed me.

okay,

i was saying,

just when i thought life was starting to suck,

things turned out better.

grr,

i think i can keep my mooncake job after all!

and, there's my chance to go to bangkok!

moreover, chew's father might be able to get us free lodging if chew comes along too!

yay yay yay

my hair didnt turn out as i expected but oh wells.

i cant wait for my long hair to grow out :/

okay,

i dont wanna type anymore.

Never thought I'll fall in love like this.

blackandwhite! at 9:34 PM

Thursday, August 19, 2010

good lords,

croatia guys are so , one word, no, two, SIZZLING HOT!

whoosh, need ice need ice! hhaha.

yog at kallang tennis centre today!

sssshhh, the main game was between the bosnia and the india guy.

linecalls suck ttm.

actually, i thought it was so so.

and there was a ballgirl who runs with her arms dangling by her side when she picks the ball -.-

and the croatia guy, pavic mate, sat in the second row, well, he's the bosnia guy's partner for doubles. but oh well,

the bosnia guy lost anw.

but it was a tough fight.

spectacular winners (:

blackandwhite! at 10:34 PM

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Haha, i swear hongkong dramas are the funniest shit ever.

anw,

met marcus hong for lunch , ate the studentmeal at ramen dan at clementi

met tyrone to catch the liar game, and nOPE.

tickets sold out again,

oh mann. i've been wanting to watch that the past few days.

oh wells,

i was so tired throughout, too lazy to walk.

oh , went down to the godiva outlet that he was working at taka,

i got a free piece of chocolate! that was worth, 4 plus.

like ONE PIECE, FOUR BUCKS.

whoa, godiva, atas chocolate.

i want 100 g of godiva for my birthday, i hope lala remembers that i told her that.

i see secret recipe in the fridge, yay! breakfast tmr (:

will be catch yog tennis semi finals,

tsk. might have to join the guys to watch.

lala said her friends also bought tickets, okay lur.

she 's hinting that she wanna sit with them.

FINE, I GET THE MESSAGE

blackandwhite! at 8:39 PM

haha,

met addy and laura today.

addy told me all that happened when i was sick.

its really heart wrenching.

i got emotional and all.

heh

i love you guys, addy , ass and peck.

if time could turn back,

i swear i will make sure i wasnt so irresponsible.

anw, xlb with the ymers was pretty good.

i was taken aback , when he called me alien.

like, he could still rmb?

HEEE

blackandwhite! at 12:33 AM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

okay, screw jailbreaking.
SERIOUSLY, SCREW IT.
len's not very happy now.
i tried in the afternoon, and i tried it when i got home.
and im sick of trying non-stop.
i guess some things are just not meant to be.
even lala managed to jailbreak her touch.
okay, at least i know i gave it a shot. i think i'll just buy the bloody apps.
im not gonna force myself to attempt shit that i know i wont be happy trying.
that goes for every other shit else.
mamachan called me to tell me about timbre tmr night, some david choy guy.
and nope, im not going.
cause there's the xlb buffet which has been arranged way back.
but i dont feel like eating xlb at all now.
len's not very very very very happy RIGHT NAO.

blackandwhite! at 12:55 AM

Monday, August 16, 2010

jailbreaking damn iphone is a nuisance.

& i cant help biting my second nail.

fuck

blackandwhite! at 11:16 PM

If i let you go,
i will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
will i ever see, you smiling back at me

i met yingyan today.
oh gosh,
i think girlfriends are more reliable.
tsk.

the shirt looks handsome,
i wonder if i should buy it.
but then again, its no longer worth it.
nothing can be tracked back.

blackandwhite! at 10:57 PM

Saturday, August 14, 2010

HI,
disappointment one:
didnt get to go to jb with lala and ee and uncle goh.
disappointment two:
didnt manage to buy working pants

eggciting one:

went to bugis street to check out sofea's mum's shaved ice stall.

she's a really sweet mum i feeel.

ass! you better call her mummy soon!

hahha.

eggciting two:

TCC actually offers OJT and pays us for it.

SCORE!

So during August, i'll work at some Mooncake booth either in Taka, Ion or Vivo.

And F1 event is in Sep, i kept thinking its Aug.

eggciting three:

My mother said okay if i go to bangkok with friends but she wont care about the expenses. not meaning that she wont mind how much i need, but, that, she wont contribute a cent. yeah. This shouldnt be under eggciting.

whateverr.

But Ass said she can go! most likely.

well, i hope we can goooooo. and the coolclique can make it too (:

watched salt ytd with the coolclique.

hahah, they said im saltier.

HAHAHAHHA

blackandwhite! at 10:18 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

take me deeper, than i've been before
take me further God i long for more
take me higher than i've been before
jesus i want more
jesus i need more

every second my heart sings this

feels like karma

blackandwhite! at 7:29 PM

i dunno, sometimes you can always expect so much from people, or else you will get disappointed

wow, i like that! wise words from laura.

i hope i stop coughing, else i'll wake mummy up in the middle of the night non stop

anyway,

desmond started talking to me since, two days back.

i think its because i wished him happy birthday on fb -.-

its nice talking to someone whom you fought with back then.

let bygones be bygones.

it takes time.

mamachan made me take up twitter and be savvy and raunchy.

haha

okay, savvy and raunchy part is what i made up.

its really retarded since we can just chat on msn.

now she tells me we might not catch boeing boeing else she cant buy me my bath and body works when she's in ny and no f21 shopping.

i said, dont bring your wallet.

okay, mayb i should catch it with chua. wonder if he likes adrian pang.

lol

the cool clique really makes me laugh my arse off

i miss laughing out loud to myself.

blackandwhite! at 3:26 PM

okay, so you've blocked me on msn, and deleted me off fb.
alright , if thats what you really want.
im fine with it .
and you wanted to see where you were on my msn list,
well, you were under " youreverydear "
but yknw what.
it doesnt matter. does it?
i didnt see this coming.
not to this extent.
goodbye, i'll keep you in prayer.

blackandwhite! at 2:27 PM

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

take me deeper, than i've been before

more of you
more of you jesus
more of you
i need more of you

You are good, you are good

when there's nothing good in me

You are love, you are love

on display for all to see

You are light, you are light

when the darkness closes in

You are hope, you are hope

you have covered all my sin

You are peace, you are peace

whom my fear in crippling

You are true, you are true

ever in my wandering

You are joy, you are joy

you're the reason that I sing

You are life, you are life

in you death has lost its sting

Oh, im running to your arms
im running to your arms
the riches of your love
will always be enough

nothing compares to your embrace

light of the world forever reign

I love worship music

if life could be as sincere and true

blackandwhite! at 12:07 AM

Saturday, August 07, 2010

must i lose everything before i start treasuring

its like i need a wake up call or sth.

like im too complacent and too much of a perfectionist.

oh wells.

like laura,

i have really low energy levels these days.

i dont feel like going anywhere and doing anything.

except for shopping (:

thats sth i really really cannot say no to.

but thats if i can even manage to crawl to the supposed location.

oh well,

thank goodness marcom and gracom are over.

these two really sucked the life outta me.

went for npsu interview today.

its like a panel of judges in front of you.

LOCK IN YOUR ANSWER BO.

heh.

then the guys played soccer.

and there was this stupid joke thing about bryan, and , i dk what.

i hope its nothing to do with me -.-

im sure its sth sick.

i seriously dont know whats with guys,

they get excited over chio bus on fb, and then add them , hoping for, I DK WHAT TOO.

and bryan claims its for ec purposes only -.-

sure sure.

all you have to do is never ever let go

blackandwhite! at 11:03 PM